The questions are:
- What are you thinking about?
- Do you love me?
- Do I look fat?
- Do you think she is prettier than me?
- What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.
Question 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
- Baseball.
- Football.
- How fat you are.
- How much prettier she is than you.
- How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
- (Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
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